Clara Harris: The impact of ADHD on our daily lives

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“I told my therapist how there were so many thoughts swirling in my head — it was just so noisy that my ears were ringing. She paused and said, Um, maybe we should test you for ADHD.”

Clara lives in Louisville, KY, and she is an actor, writer, and producer with over two decades of experience. In 2022, she produced and performed her solo show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the world’s largest performing arts festival. The show is called This Moment in America, a live recorded audio drama and sonic collage of the American psyche. When Clara returned home from this incredible experience, she found she had an empty business account and struggled to reintegrate into life and find a “jobby job” and suddenly felt like a failure. Her longtime therapist suggested she look into ADHD and that’s when the lightbulb went off.

Clara wanted to share her diagnosis story because she knows first hand how lonely this journey can feel, especially as a late-diagnosed woman. We talk about the potpourri of diagnoses Clara received prior to her ADHD diagnosis, as well as finding the right medication. We also talk about some of the ways in which anxiety impacts our daily life and the elaborate systems we develop in order to cope. 

And Clara shares the exciting news about her upcoming studies at University College London pursuing her Masters in audio storytelling. Clara is also the creative force behind Swamp Witch Studio and its audio drama podcast, Night Owl Theatre, which offers live chamber performances in homes and other non-traditional spaces. 

Websites: swampwitchstudio.com ; clara-harris.com

Instagram: @claraharris

Enjoy!

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Clara Harris 0:00
My story's a little bit reverse. I'm the one that got diagnosed. And then as I'm sharing with him, oh my gosh, you know how I always do this? That's ADHD. So one day he's like, Mom, I think I might have ADHD because a lot of these things you're saying, makes so much sense. So now I realize some of those times where he was needing me to sit down with him doing his homework, that was body doubling, and likewise, having him around the house was kind of like body doubling for me. So with him going away, that structure is not there.

Katy Weber 0:34
Hello, and welcome to the women and ADHD podcast. I'm your host, Katy Weber. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 45. And it completely turned my world upside down. I've been looking back at so much of my life, school, jobs, my relationships, all of it with this new lens and it has been nothing short of overwhelming I quickly discovered I was not the only woman to have this experience. And now I interview other women who liked me discovered in adulthood they have ADHD and are finally feeling like they understand who they are and how to best lean into their strengths, both professionally and personally. Well, hello there. Here we are at Episode 185, in which I interviewed Clara Harris. Clara lives in Louisville, Kentucky, and she is an actor, writer and producer with over two decades of experience. In 2022, she produced and performed her solo show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe the world's largest performing arts festival. The show is called this moment in America, a live recorded audio drama and Sonic collage of the American psyche. And when Clara returned home from this incredible experience, she found she had an empty business account and really struggled to reintegrate into life and find what she calls a job a job and suddenly she felt like a failure. her longtime therapist suggested she look into ADHD and that's when the light bulb went off. Clara wanted to share her diagnosis story here because she knows firsthand how lonely this journey can feel. Especially as a late diagnosed woman. We talk about the potpourri of diagnoses that Claire received prior to her ADHD diagnosis, as well as her journey to finding the right medication. We also talked about some of the ways in which anxiety impacts our daily life and the elaborate systems we develop in order to cope and Claire shares the exciting news about her upcoming studies at University College London pursuing her master's in audio storytelling. Clara is also the creative force behind swamp which studio and his audio drama podcast nite owl Theatre, which offers live chamber performances in homes and other non traditional spaces. Speaking with Clara was such a joy and a reminder of how awesome it is to interview other ADHD women and feel like we're long lost best friends, reuniting and baring our souls. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Oh, hello,

Clara Harris 3:05
Clara. How are you? I am doing well, running a little bit behind shedule for what I had planned. So I've got wet hair here, but it'll dry you'll see it get bigger as we go through the speaker through our chat today. I

Katy Weber 3:20
was gonna say from one curly haired person to another. I know that feeling of having wet hair all day long. And then finally it's dry. And you're like, Okay, time for bed.

Clara Harris 3:28
Yeah, exactly.

Katy Weber 3:30
Yeah, well, well, thank you for joining me. I was very excited to you know, it was it's weird, because you know, your name is also like notorious now, right?

Clara Harris 3:39
Yes.

Katy Weber 3:41
I didn't know that until I Googled you and was like, Oh, this is interesting.

Clara Harris 3:45
Yeah, not that Clara Harris. So for those who have not yet googled the name, I'll save you the Well, I mean, you may want to do it anyway. This is the lady you may recall several years ago, than many years ago at this point. Killed her husband she was in the car with I think it was with his daughter from another woman anyway, she ran over him, backed up, ran over impact up ran over him. And she was in jail in Texas for a little while. And

Katy Weber 4:16
she was a dentist and he was an orthodontist. Right? Yeah, I

Clara Harris 4:20
knew it was something to do with dentistry profession. But I didn't. I didn't remember all of the details, other than they did a made for TV movie about her starring sila ward. So even if you were to Google, Claire Harris actor, I still don't show up sometimes on the first page of Google. So like my own name, I can't get decent SEO. So yeah, it's been an interesting name to have. I have considered changing my last name because it's my married name. And I married into Harris, which is a much more common name than what my maiden name was. And so I've often thought about changing my name, but the options I've Googled, there are already people with that. I've got all the social media property with just clear Harris. It's not just not the word just just at Clear Harris. It's like, oh, man, it's a great name

Katy Weber 5:08
though I wouldn't change it. It's it has a really nice bounce to it. You know, it has a nice cadence to it. That's totally what happened to me. When I got married. I changed my name to because my last night or my name before I got married was Sternberg, which was very, I was, you know, the only one out there and so it was very unique, but I was young. And so I didn't have much of a career yet. And I just thought Katy Weber said, it's so cute. I was like Katy Weber, Katy Weber, it was so bouncy. And I saw I just, you know, impulsively it changed my day. But it was like, Yeah, you know, why not? But like, I've had that moment of like, mice, you know, Feminist sisters must be so disappointed in me that I changed my name to my husband's name, but I'm like, yeah, the opposite was true. If I if my name was whoever and I met a Sternberg I would never in a million years change my name. But I was like, it's so cute. And I'm like, that's one of those things that I look back. And I was like, I didn't put literally any thought into it. I was just like, I like the way it sounds. And here we are, so that I have those moments of panic where I'm like, God, what happens if we get divorced? Am I gonna have to go back to stir? Like, it's just so silly, but I'm always I always feel like I need to apologize for changing my name, because I'm like, my Feminist sisters are so disappointed in me, but look how cute it is. I'm like Clara Harris has that same kind of like bounciness to it?

Clara Harris 6:27
Yeah, even if the SEO isn't great. By the way, there's also a Clara Harris, who was in the same box as Lincoln when he was shot. Yay. Wow. No, I should have checked like, I should have Googled, well, the Clara Harris in Texas didn't kill her husband until after I was going by Clara Harris. But I could have at least googled the other lady. So she was an actor, too. Oh,

Katy Weber 6:51
my God, what a awesome fact. What a nice little fact to throw out at parties. Yeah, I always say that with myself. So we named my son Max. And so his name is Max Weber, who is a very you know, the very famous philosopher and but his name was Max vapor. And so people always like to be like, Did you know your your son's name is a famous philosopher. We're like, yes, we know. But we always joke about the fact that the rest of us our last name is pronounced Weber. But his last name is pronounced Vapeur.

Clara Harris 7:21
Not to American eyes. Unfortunately,

Katy Weber 7:23
I know

Clara Harris 7:25
that my first name is Jennifer. So I, when I got married into Jennifer Harris, there was already a Jennifer Harrison, the union, the actors union, you can't have more than one active member with her name, really, which is why you end up with things like Michael J. Fox. I understand again, I mean, you know, you read it on the internet, who knows if it's true, but I understand that part of the reason he has the J in his name is is because of there being another Michael That's

Katy Weber 7:53
so interesting. I always thought it was for Google ability and uniqueness. I didn't realize there was like a hard fast rule in the union. That's

Clara Harris 8:00
yeah, yeah. So you know, surprise, surprise, Jennifer is so common, especially in my demographic, my age bracket. And, and Harris is such a common last name. There was already a Jennifer Harris and I had already gone by my middle name, some in college, but just kind of switched over to it professionally. So all of this to say I have scars from growing up as a Jennifer in the 80s with a bajillion other Jennifer's was always like one of five. And so when we had our son, I was adamant that he was not going to have a common name. Also, I have two older sisters who had had an Emma, not knowing every other person in the hospital was naming their kid Emma that year also. And anything the other sister has an eighth and again, not realizing how popular the name was. And they said the same thing my parents did. We didn't know any. Ethan's Emma's Jennifer's growing up. How was it all? So I was like, No, we're not doing this. So I found out on the Social Security website, there's the baby name, popularity ranking. And so you can go on and search how popular certain names were in certain years. And so I was like, it can't be in the top 100 names. Like it has to be outside of the top 100 names from the past couple of years. And I literally just would Google things that we were thinking about and it had to be like really high numbers. Flynn was off the charts Flynn is my son's name. Not named after Flynn Ryder. The movie came out after

Katy Weber 9:25
he I was gonna say you were foiled after that. Yeah, yeah,

Clara Harris 9:29
yeah. Oh, we have some friends who gave birth to your frozen came out. Basically, the the kid was born as the release was happening. And they had already decided on Elsa as a name. I had friends come to see them. And they were like, Oh, I'm sorry to tell you this. But do you know what the name of the Frozen character is? And they were like No. So yeah, so Flint Flint writer, tangled came out in Flint writer became an so now we get asked one of two questions usually, you know, what's your name? What's your kid's name? Flynn is Is that a family name? No. Yeah, in fact, I named my kid Flynn before Orlando Bloom named his kid Flynn. And then the other one is Oh, after Flynn Ryder. I know he's older than tangled. But we've been so successful, there have been no soflens. In any of his schools, there have been some fins that no Flynn's until next year, next year, Jr. is coming into his school named Flynn. And we both when we saw that on the press release, we were like, oh, so yeah, so we're not sure how we feel about this kid yet. I'm sure he's a wonderful person. That's

Katy Weber 10:39
funny. Yeah. Well, we are actually recorded at ADHD podcast at the baby naming. I know, I've just been live like, I have so much more to say about this. Because, you know, we were so intentional about like naming my you know, my name. Katie. Why I've been called Kathy my whole life or it's been spelled IE. And so I just wanted kids whose names were easy to spell. And they didn't have that issue. And so my daughter was Anna, who is it's a N N A, it's nice. It's a palindrome it's awesome name. But like people always spell it with one N. I mean, not always, but enough that I'm like, you really just can't win. Like it doesn't matter what you try to avoid it will find you. Yes, yes. All right. So let's get back to ADHD, shall we? So you were diagnosed? Two years ago?

Clara Harris 11:28
Yes, I had to do some math. It's like, wait, what year was it that I was diagnosed? What years?

Katy Weber 11:32
I feel like we're the same age. Right? Are you turning 50? And are you 74? Or 75? No, not 74 1970. My birth year?

Clara Harris 11:43
I am an early 75. Okay, so all right. You must be late 74.

Katy Weber 11:47
I'm a late 74. Yeah, so Okay. All right. I was like, we have a lot of parallels in terms of ages and kids ages and stuff. So why don't you tell me about your diagnosis and kind of you we're working on a big project in Scotland. Right. You are you had just finished and I was getting ready to take a big project discount. Okay. All right. Why don't you tell me and I will shut my mouth. But you know, what was going on? And kind of what were some of those things, those moments where you're like, I should really look into this?

Clara Harris 12:17
Well, it all starts several years ago, when I realized I was constantly having to ask people to repeat themselves, especially my kid and my husband. Wait, what? Huh? What would you say? Huh? Can you repeat that? To the point that I noticed it was becoming a problem. And so especially being someone who does audio work, and some audio editing as well. So just for some quick background, I'm an actor, writer, audio producer type. And so the thought of losing my hearing was a little alarming to cope with. So I truly thought it was an audio issue. So I go to an audiologist and have my hearing checked afterwards. She was like, No, it's fine. Your your, your hearing is perfectly fine. And she's like, I mean, you might have ADHD, and you probably didn't make good grades in school and blahdy blahdy blah, and I'm like, ADHD, nah, that's not me. And I make very good grades in school. I don't know what you're talking about. got very defensive about it, too. So because she immediately sort of jumped to that stereotype. So I just waved it off. I'm like, whatever my hearings fine. That's great. And fast forward to 2022. A couple of things happened. I that spring. I've been in therapy for many years, I have a an alphabet soup of mental health diagnoses. But my therapist, I was relaying to her a drive into schools dropping my kid off at school, and how the 10 or 15 minutes from our house to the exit ramp. I realized as I got off the exit ramp, my ears were ringing. My kids asleep next to me, I don't think I even had no I didn't have the radio on. And it was because there had been so many thoughts swirling in my head, it was just so noisy. And when the car kind of came to a stop at the end of the exit ramp, my ears were ringing and I was, you know, trying to cope with all of these thoughts swirling around all of the time. And she paused and said, Maybe we should test you for ADHD like, wait, what? So we did the survey. She did the testing there. I don't know if it was that session or the next one, whatever. But that's how I officially got diagnosed. But she is a psychologist, not a psychiatrist. So she cannot prescribe any medication. What she can do is continue to help me with skill building in terms of dealing with these things now sort of having that frame of ADHD, which is really helpful. But in terms of getting any sort of medication treatment for it. That really started because I was working on taking a show to the Edinburgh Fringe, which is the biggest performing arts festival in the world. It's something that, especially as a lifelong theater kid, the thought of taking a show to the fringes was certainly something on my bucket list. Very well regarded and a lot of popular shows have started at the fringe six, which is on Broadway, right now and touring fleabag from Phoebe Waller bridge it now I'm like a ticket that name right anyway. Yep. But fleabag was on Amazon started from a solo show that she did to the fringe. So, you know, it's it's launched a lot of different careers, a lot of different shows. And I didn't realize it's also known as a really big comedy stepping stone. So I got there, and there were so many comedians, and so many stand up comedy shows that we're especially because in 22, we're so coming out of the pandemic, and people were really looking for a good laugh, and my show was not good. It was fun, we're serious. So there's there laughs there's levity in it, but it's not comedy. And so anyway, I was working on the show, and really struggling to get through some of the grind of putting the show together. And so in talking with my therapist, we were like, Let's give medication a try and found a psychiatrist who was able to get me on a Adderall dosage. And we started playing around with that, that helped bridge the gap to get me over the hump, in terms of task initiation and prioritization and some of those issues that we deal with. In terms of executive dysfunction, I was able to kind of manage those to get the task done and get the show up and get get it to the fringe. But But since getting back from the fringe, it's been a little bit of a journey to figure out what that medication needs to be what the dosage needs to be. So I'm still trying to figure out what is the best solution for me and my particular presentation of ADHD and my particular mixture of chemicals in my own body, what's going to work best in terms of medication management, but that's where I am today is basically learning how to work with my brain and then seeing what kind of medications can can be helpful as I'm looking to work more in tune with my brain as opposed to against it.

Katy Weber 17:33
Yeah, I feel like that's where we all are. Like, I haven't met so, I mean, if somebody's like, I have completely figured out how to master my ADHD braid, but that's where I've like, I get them side i where I'm like. So let's backtrack a little bit. First of all, the hearing thing, and the audio processing disorder, I think is really interesting, because it's certainly you know, I've tried to explain it since my diagnosis where I'm like thoughts, have a couple of rooms they have to move through from my ear to my brain. I'm like, There's a FOIA a where the words go into the FOIA. And it takes a moment before they get in sometimes if I'm thinking, yeah, yeah. And that's how I've tried to describe that where it's like, you know, because there's times where I will, somebody will be speaking to me, and I'll say what, and then as they're repeating it, I, I'm answering them and yes, I identify with that. Yes, right. I've seen that before with other memes. That idea of like, oh, yeah, no, it's just like, it just takes longer. I also I have always been of the theory that all comedians have ADHD, I don't know.

Clara Harris 18:45
Probably, yeah. Right.

Katy Weber 18:47
I just think it's the perfect combination of like, self flagellation, low self esteem and self worth, high intelligence, using humor to cope like everything about being a comedian just screams ADHD for me. So in terms of medication, what have you tried just

Clara Harris 19:07
Adderall, the short acting version, which is what the first person put me on. And that worked, like I said, to get me really over the hump of getting to French getting through French. So the French itself is 28 days in Edinburgh, and the whole city is the festival essentially, there's the Edinburgh International Festival, which is really well respected. You have to be invited to perform. And then the fringe is in a rose in the 40s post war era where there were a bunch of artists who were really frustrated that they couldn't get seen on this international platform of the Edinburgh Festival. And so they just started doing shows around the festival in Edinburgh around the fringe of the festival, which is where the fringe movement essentially started. So the whole city is converted to, you know, festival town, essentially during the month of August, because you also have the book festival and you have the oh my goodness, I can't remember it now, but it's a big to do the tattoo, that's it that you've got the big tattoo that's up that the castle at the Edinburgh Castle. So you've got swarms of people. And as a performer, you've got to break through that noise to get butts in seats. And so there's a lot of a lot of work to do on top of doing your show for 28 days straight. So it was pretty brutal. And, and in terms of demanding your attention, high attention for extended periods of time, things that I don't do naturally, necessarily, especially when it comes to some of the more menial marketing and accounting tasks that are not my strong suit. So yeah, the the short acting, medication got me through the fringe. But once I got back, I was like this, it actually was causing a lot of frustration, because I was having to really carefully watch my time, because you've got like this three to four or five hour window, depending on how the medication reacts with you. And then you take another dose. And for many people who go into an office, they take it in the morning, maybe with their breakfast, they go to work, they take it at lunch, they finish their work day they come home, because that is not my schedule, I was having to sort of negotiate like, when do I need my periods of really good focus. So that was causing actually, even more executive function issues, trying to manage when I was going to take the short acting formula. So we switched to a long acting formula. And I've been through several different providers to because there's a real big difference in how experienced people are in dealing with adult ADHD and especially as someone who was diagnosed late in life, and many of the accompanying mental health challenges that a lot of people have, because things weren't addressed or diagnosed, you didn't necessarily know how to cope with or understand why things were happening the way they were in your head. I have found that some of the medication management providers are just not as skilled and working on titrating up and down and changing different some practices are more reticent to change your medication or to change your levels of medication. So it's just really hard to find even, I mean, I'm feel fortunate that I am somewhere where I'm getting treatment, and that I do have access to that medication, because I know just getting in and getting the diagnosis can be difficult, but but then finding that right balance is is also tough. And it's especially tough when you feel like you're not working with someone who's really listening or engaging with your particulars. So now I'm on the long acting Adderall, but sporadically, quite frankly, well,

Katy Weber 22:53
and the other thing I find with medication too, because I've tried a bunch of different ones. And I've tried different iterations and like finally settled on the, you know, a dosage of Vyvanse. And now you can't get it anywhere. And I'm like, fuck like I've just like so frustrated, because it's like, shouldn't maybe I should just go back to not even trying because finally was on something that was working well, and I was happy with and now I can't get it. And like it's just I'm hoping this is validating for people listening to how frustrating this is. Because it's like, one of the things that I also find really frustrating about finding the right medication is that like, some days I'm in the zone, right? Like, I don't know, when I'm going to have a low executive function day. And when I'm not, there's probably I probably could pay a lot more attention to my cycle or which is up in the air because of perimenopause. So I don't even know what my cycle is anymore. So it's like there's all of these factors that are at play, but I'm like, I never know, when it's working or what it's doing or how well it's worked. Like there's just too many factors to pay attention to, for people who struggle with vague attention, right. So it's like, I could probably go on for the rest of my days about the difficulty in ADHD medication. And I when people just make it seem like, like the very early in my part in the podcast, when I was first diagnosed, I was always asking people like, what does that be? You say it's working. What does that even mean? Like, how do I know it's working? Yeah. Right. They're really, really needing some kind of like, I don't know, like a light to go off or something because there's no sort of, I feel that way. Now. I felt like in a way where I'm like, Oh, yes, the tasks I set out to do I did today and there's a reliability there to having it long term, but I can't have it long term because I I'm like, rationing it now. And anyway, that's frustrating. Okay, so I want to I also have a alphabet soup as Sue saw of diagnoses before I finally landed on ADHD. But when you were diagnosed with ADHD, what were some of those things that came up for you where you were like, oh, yeah, okay. The signs were there all along.

Clara Harris 25:00
Yeah, well, the going back to the audio processing it when I was in second grade, you know, it's weird. Those moments in your life that are just crystal clear like a movie in your mind. There are so many things that happened in my childhood. I couldn't tell you like, what exact year it wasn't necessarily. But there are a handful of moments like, oh, no, I know it was this because I remember it was Miss O'Neill's class that mom came and got me out of how did I how I remember this one thing, because I also like stopped in and like pushed my, the little skin bits at the bottom of your nail, cuticle. Thank you the cuticle.

Katy Weber 25:39
This is such a everything about this interview from from the 10 minutes, it took me to finally realize I was in the wrong studio to every bit. I'm loving it. I feel like this is ADHD real time. Yes.

Clara Harris 25:52
So yes, for some reason, I stopped in like pushed one of my cuticles down before, like, I got my backpack and everything stopped and fix that real fast, real fast before i i left to go meet my mom at the office to go get my hearing check, because she was worried that I had hearing issues. Because I was not responding to her. We go to the doctor or the doctor checks my hearing. And I don't remember this, but mom tells me the story that he comes back into the room chuckling like, Oh, she has what we call selective hearing. But that didn't arise as something to investigate any further. It's just, she's just like, focused on what she's doing. And you might have to go like tap her on the shoulder or something. So there's there's that sort of early auditory processing sign that clearly focusing either hyper focusing or not knowing where to focus, I've always hated restaurants with a lot of TVs, because I just can't focus on the person in front of me. It's all of that visual stuff. But especially if it's noisy, if there if the TV's are on or something, I love the the earbuds that they have now loop is one of the brands that I've got, I've got an off brand. And I've got some loops, where you can just kind of put them in and sort of turn the volume down on some of those. I went to a restaurant not too long ago, the first time I had been to a really noisy restaurant since I got them and put them in and it was just my brain was so much calmer that whole time. Because I was able to turn the volume down on all of that background noise. And I was able to focus on the people around me. I wasn't as exhausted when I left the restaurant as I normally and so knowing now that that's part of the ADHD brain, it's like, no wonder I find some of those places or events exhausting? Of course I do. My brain is on absolute overload. But it's funny in the diagnosis process. And in the various other surveys I've done as I've changed providers to try to find somebody who will work with me and finding medication, I've had to answer a lot of different questions a lot of different ways. And a couple of times people have mentioned things about wishing they had more evidence from earlier in my childhood. And the story I always pull out for that as well. I was having a hard time getting up and ready to go to school on time. And so my mom made a poster. And it had Snoopy on it again, why I remember that little detail. I don't know, probably well, probably because it hung in my room for years. And I looked at it every day. But it was a list of like five things. It was like you know, wake up, make your bed, get dressed, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, pick up your backpack or something like that, like just these are the steps you need to do when from when you wake up until we walk out the door for school. It was like five steps. And I look back on that now. It's like, oh, well, that was an adaptation that we were making, not realizing what was really behind it. And so consequently, I've also been able to look back and see other adaptations I've made along the way. Now, that process has also come along with a lot of shame. And, you know, OCD is one of the scattering of letters that that's on my chart. And how much of that is because of the various you know, checking because I know my tendency to be late or to overlook things. The number of times I couldn't find keys, and that's what was making me run late. And so now I have a very specific place. I walk in the door and there is a hook. And so when they're asking questions about Do you constantly lose things, it's like, Well, not anymore. Because at this point in my life, I've figured out a way not to lose my keys every other day. But how long did I go, you know, losing my keys every other day on many years. How many times was my car towed when I was in school in Cincinnati because I was parked on the wrong side of the the street too late in the morning and my car was towed so many times in Cincinnati, but lots of tickets and toes and blocking my keys in my car sometimes one time, distressingly with my dogs in the car. So it was up You know a lot of those things that I just chalked up to being lazy forgetful spacey or, you know, fill in the blank. And so with that comes a lot of shame and developing these systems that I don't want to say gave me OCD. But you know, it's kind of manifest in this sort of obsessive compulsive manner of addressing certain things, like locking the doors. Yeah, because I came home one day and the door was just wide open. I had apparently forgotten to just close the door. I've done

Katy Weber 30:31
that I left the car doors wide open one night, though, all night long. And I had to like check to make sure there wasn't a family of raccoons living in our car now.

Clara Harris 30:40
I'm glad it didn't rain.

Katy Weber 30:43
But I feel like you're right. I feel like the diagnosis for a lot of us because anxiety is such a, you know, common bedfellow for for those of us with ADHD that it's like, rather than asking if you lose your keys, ask how elaborate is your system for remembering things? And how reliant Are you on systems in general, I think says a lot more about neuro divergent thinking, My son the other day, he's 13. And I was like, this is the perfect example of ADHD and anxiety. So he is both my kids have ADHD. But he was you know, he was asking when his this SMA, which is in New York, I don't remember what it stands for. But it's like the musical it's sort of like conservatory like you. Every year you go and you you get tested, and they give you a mark. I don't remember what it stands for. But I think it's like statewide. And so anyway, it's coming up. And he was like, Oh, what is this? I got no witness matters. And I'm like, it's on this day in the calendar. And he was like, Are you sure? And I was like, Well, I don't know, am I sure? So I had to look it up on the calendar and show him on my phone. I was like, yeah, it's right here in the calendar. And he was like, Are you sure you wrote it down? Right. And I was like, I don't know if I wrote it down at you. Maybe I didn't write it down. Right. He was like, you should check the email from the music teacher. And I was like, okay, so I because I was like, I don't know if I did it wrong. So I checked the email from the music teacher, just to and I was like, Nope, we got it. Right. The email from the music teacher says it's this date. And he was like, what if the music teacher got it wrong? And it was like this is so this is such a perfect example of that, like endless anxiety that comes with a lack of self trust around memory and ability to function. Right? And I'm like, This is how our self trust breaks down over the course of our life so that we have this like constant. What if what if, what if am I getting this wrong? Am I getting this wrong? Maybe you're getting it wrong. And like we just are so unmoored so much of the time and I was like, God, I'm so sorry, you poor little 13 year old. You carry this with you. But I don't I don't know what made me think of that. I think it was the keys and just that idea or no talking about the system from childhood, right, which is like, a lot of the time those structures are super helpful for us. But I think they also, you know that we don't get a chance to establish self trust around being capable with memory and as a, you know, an executive functioning or maybe we never had it to begin with maybe I shouldn't say that we were being enabled. Our parents were enablers if they made those lists, or us because but I do think there's like a fine balance between figuring out strategies and then having them given to you and why so many of us fall apart when we go away to college or adulthood. Like we, we had our parents propping us up so much are the

Clara Harris 33:33
thing I'm running into now. So my son is 17. And he's finishing up his junior year in high school as we're speaking. But he does not live at home. He goes to their handful of the schools I had, I don't know exactly how many I know there's two in Kentucky. And I know that there are others in the country where there's a public high school option at a college campus. And so it's a stem focused Academy. And he goes to school, he lives on a college campus and a particular dorm, that's all of these kids with this academy. So he lives there on campus, which is about two hours away. He attends college classes, but they count towards his high school degree. And then they have a couple of other things they have to do because they're high school kids and not college kids. So he's not completely got free rein there and he's got curfews and some other things. But regardless, I never realized until after he was out of the house, how much the structure of his school day was helping keep my day structured. Because it was so frustrating because my sweet spot for my brain is really like three to seven is when I really like gear up and get creative and have a lot of energy. And that is pick up from school time get dinner ready, you know, drive to karate, all of the you know, help him on homework all of those things and It was so frustrating because I would feel so sluggish until it was time to go pick him up. And then I'm having all of this like creative energy and urge to, to work on stuff that I couldn't get myself to work make forward progress on during his school day. But I'm having to like sit down and help him with his homework and that sort of thing. Well, now I realize with this diagnosis, and he also has ADHD, which my story's a little bit reversed. I'm the one that got diagnosed. And then as I'm sharing with him, oh my gosh, you know how I always do this, that's ADHD. So one day, he's like, Mom, I think I might have ADHD, because a lot of these things you're saying, makes so much sense. So we got him tested. And he also has ADHD. So now I realize some of those times where he was needing me to sit down with him doing his homework, that was body doubling, we wouldn't have called it that, because we didn't know. And likewise, having him around the house was kind of like body doubling for me. So with him going away, that structure is not there. And so this year has been really interesting to figure out what I need to build around myself to pull it all together and make things happen. And it's been a struggle. But the upside of that is at least I have this frame of I have a neurodivergent brain, I am not a bad person, I am not lazy, I am not, you know, fill in the blank, have all of these negative connotation words that that I certainly have used during my entire life. Now it's like, oh, no, this is just my brain doesn't operate the way, you know, regular people in quotes, think about organizing things. And so I've got to figure out what system is going to work for me to keep that structure to my day. So that's been a roller coaster ride. To figure out,

Katy Weber 36:49
it is and I, you know, I I think people are lying if they say this isn't frustrating. I said that the other day, you know, I was like, if I could if you could wave a magic wand and say that I didn't have ADHD, would I not have ADHD, and I've gone back and forth, there's certain sometimes where I'm like, This is the greatest thing, you know, especially after I was diagnosed, it felt so nice, you know, to be kinder to myself, and to have a explanation for so much in the beginning. But then there's other times where I'm like, I still have ADHD, like, there's still really frustrating to have to find these workarounds, and to not have the executive function on the dais I wanted and just to feel like there's so many hoops that I have to go through to convince myself to do the silliest, little mundane things. And so I'm like, I don't know, I can't ever decide, speaking of being kinder to ourselves, and how you were sort of saying that, it is very refreshing to say, This is my brain and not me being late. So lazy, like, are there things that you would look now and say, oh, yeah, I appreciate my ADHD for this or that.

Clara Harris 37:55
Certainly being good in a crisis. There are several times where that has come in handy. That's funny, the two that really popped into my mind both centered around my father when one was an injury, and one was, he got COVID, that got really bad, and then ultimately passed away from it. But But in those two particular situations, the whole field just narrowed down, and I sort of really focused on, we need to do X, we need to do Y, we need to do z, we need to make this phone call, let's get this packed up or whatever. Like all of the chatter, all of the background noise just went away. And certainly there have been times where being able to focus in a crisis has been good. But even for my career, I mean, being on stage, you're sort of up on a high wire you in the cast, and the audience is really not spoken about other member of the cast, because who knows what's going to happen when you go out, live in front of an audience. And so having a brain that functions well, with that sort of uncertainty and knowing that, like, this is the job we have to do so while doing a play is not a crisis, my brain sort of naturally works in a in a way that is conducive to the skills that I need to be able to perform live in front of an audience and not have any issues around that. Yeah, I don't really get stage fright or anything like that, except for the first show. The first audience is always a little nerve wracking, like how are they going to respond? What's going to happen? How's this dance gonna go? Once you get out there? You're so rehearsed. And that's where again, that's, you know, you're, you're really rehearsed. And you're focused on this, this thing that you and your cast have been rehearsing. But then you have this whole other element that you don't know exactly how it's gonna go. But the ADHD brain seems to work really well with that, not knowing and that dichotomy of this very planned thing and this very unplanned thing coexisting in the same space. So that's been really good.

Katy Weber 39:48
I found a couple of actors on the on the podcast over the years and it is very interesting to think about how ADHD really enhances performing from Oh, well, we've been met asking our whole lives we're experts. Yeah. But also, like you said, like that ability to really focus it. I like how you articulated that. And also, the interesting thing about like, just memorizing lines, I think is such it's so oxymoronic is that the word I'm looking for where it's like, you know, for so many of us who struggle with working memory, memorizing lines is one of those things that just like falls, it's like, it just exists, right? There's this part of your brain, this other for you that you just kind of get on stage and you open your mouth and out it comes and yep.

Clara Harris 40:30
I mean, I have been on stage where I get this, like panic, because suddenly, I can't think about, like, my brain is like, Ah, I can't remember what I'm supposed to say, but not like next, but like next next or whatever. And then we get there. And then it just happens. Yeah, it's like, well, there it is. Okay, we're good. It's all good. So what rehearsal was for? I know,

Katy Weber 40:50
I feel like it's all it's all part of the same hemisphere of the brain that like autopilot. But anyway, maybe dad, I bought a neuroscientist, but I think what I what I'm saying is very sound.

Clara Harris 41:05
I think I sound perfect.

Katy Weber 41:11
So do you mentioned that you think maybe your husband has it, which is another parallel to because I've always talked about how I have no idea if my husband has it or not? Because I'm like, he struggles with a lot of the same things with executive functioning, but he has like, he's never had to take care of the children's calendar or like the social calendar, right. And so he's always had a secretary. And he's, you know, like, all those ways in which I'm like, Yeah, in fact, when he started working from home during the pandemic, and was taking on a lot more of the, like, domestic duties around the kids. So suddenly, it was like, for the first time in years, we were sharing who took the kids to the dentist, and who did this and who was in charge of this. He was doing a lot more of those things that I had always taken on for years and years and years. And he like, was the poster child for ADHD. He couldn't remember anything. He was always late. He was so fresh, and I was. So I'm curious how that conversation has been around your husband. Does he? Is he neuro curious?

Clara Harris 42:06
Yeah, Euro spicy?

Katy Weber 42:08
Well, because mine is like, Absolutely not. I don't have it. He refuses to think he has it. And then I'm like, Well, that's an interesting statement on how you feel about

Clara Harris 42:19
No, Andrew absolutely affirms that. In all likelihood, he has ADHD, but for some reason, he's just has no interest in doing anything about it. So whatever. His biggest thing with time you mentioned your husband is always late. Mine is always so freakin early. So you know, if we're not leaving 10 minutes before the time, we decided that we would leave, he's pacing up and down the hallway. And we have finally sort of come to an understanding of like, you need to tell me when you actually want to leave. And if you're ready to go, and I'm not ready to go. And it's the it's not yet the time that we agreed to leave. You may not stand in the hallway, sighing loudly while you look at your watch. Because it's not the time we you know, we haven't yet reached that time. Now once we reach that time and surpass it, which happens often then you're allowed to look at your watch inside. But yeah, that that's definitely been a tension in, in the relationship of you know, I have a tendency to push things and not understand that five minutes is only five minutes as real people experience it not the way my brain experiences it. I don't actually have time to like vacuum the house, you've referred

Katy Weber 43:36
to people as normal and now real.

Clara Harris 43:42
Which I do tongue in cheek, I hope people understand it's not Yeah, no, I know. But like, you know, I don't have time to vacuum the house or mow the yard or whatever, in five minutes. It's gonna take me more than five minutes to get a shower, where is he wants to leave in time for like everything to happen, and then also arrive like 30 minutes early. So that's been the cause of most friction is our different approaches to our time blindness. But then the other thing is just he's gotten a much more mind is more attentive to inattentive, ADHD, where all of that busyness and hyperactivity is turned inward, whereas his is much more outward. So he's always doodling and tapping his leg or tapping his fingers or some sort of fidgety something or other. But again, you know, he's at this point, he's a grown ass man, and he's developed his accommodations, and so he's fine with it. But no, he does not deny that in all likelihood, he is ADHD positive.

Katy Weber 44:42
Adjacent. Yeah, no, I know. i It's I very similar experience. Actually. My husband is not late all the time. I don't know why he said that. He's actually pretty much the same. And you know, he always likes to be early and he and I both are the kind of people who show up at the airport like five hours early because we never know what's going to happen. But he is one One of those people who cannot stand still and he'll get 10,000 steps before his Fitbit, just by being on the phone, he paces madly on the phone, and he does not sit still. Yes. And I'm always I'm always like, there's part of me that so jealous because I'm like I ended up with you to attend to, you know, even though I'm I'm officially combined, but like, I'm the kind of person who will just lie paralyzed on the couch all day. And I'm like, I wish I had your brand of nonstop ADHD,

Clara Harris 45:27
I wonder how much of that is also because being socialized as a woman being expected to sit still and sort of all of the things that are surrounded that sort of stereotypical good girl type, you know, how much of it is that we were just trained to be expected to sit still and be quiet and not have the energy going outward. And so, whereas the boys tend to be allowed more, or at least they did know that things are really all that different, necessarily, in school and that sort of thing. But, but yeah, there is sort of that different way of being socialized. And I wonder how much of that plays into women generally presenting with a more inattentive or combined type, as opposed to that energy going out with the tapping and all this stuff, right. I

Katy Weber 46:13
always sort of likened it to the fact that just the sheer exhaustion that exists with ADHD a lot of the time and then you know, always being like, well, Where's that coming from, because I have felt exhausted my whole life. And so it's, you know, or basically, maybe it's basically since having kids, it that's, I don't really remember much about life before kids. But that was definitely like, I have been tired since the day I gave birth. And it's never stopped. And so it's like, a lot of the time, I feel like that exhaustion comes from that internal hamster wheel, and the masking and all of that stuff. And, you know, learning more about, like you said, that socialized way in which we need to kind of stay together and pretend that we're listening and be really focused. And all of that takes so much effort, so that we are kind of always exhausted behind the scenes. And so like, when I'm lying down, it's much more of a like, the, you know, the woman with a needing smelling salts on the shares lunch, like that's, like, for me, I'm like, always looking for a reason to rest, because I'm chronically exhausted. And that's where I feel like I've never like, I'm probably I would probably benefit from walking around all day and doing what he does. But I'm just like, mentally, I'm always looking for another reason to lie. Which, you know, any personal trainer will tell you, that's only gonna make you more tired. Or, you know, at least the negative voices in my head are telling me that, but I think it does come from the sheer exhaustion that comes from just existing your life like you felt that right? Or it's like, oh, yes, just having to like keep it all together in a way that we have for so long. Like I'm, I just don't, I don't know what it's like to not feel exhausted. And that's why I think I'm always lying around, but who knows.

Clara Harris 47:59
So I got COVID and 2020, and summer of 2020, and have long COVID. And that's manifested basically in like fibromyalgia, autoimmune stuff. And so I've got physical stuff going on with the fatigue, in addition to the ADHD fatigue, like brain fatigue, which also, you know, makes you physically tired as well, just because your brain is tired doesn't mean you're not physically tired. But the recovery is different from mental fatigue, I can if it's, if I'm feeling overwhelmed mentally, and it's a good body day, like a relatively pain free day, and that sort of thing. I can rest mentally and then feel recharged and a little bit. Whereas if it's a day where it's more from the autoimmune stuff that's keeping me from feeling able to move through and feeling energetic, then there's not really any way to recover, until you just, you know, hope that the next day is better. But it is helpful to know like yesterday at a doctor's appointments really long doctor's appointment. And by the time I was done, because I had spent over an hour like super focused, it was that mental exhaustion that I just got home and I was like, I'm hungry, but I have no idea what to eat. I mean, there's plenty of food in the house. And even some things that are easy to just like, grab real quick, but I was like, I don't even know where to start. And I just I had to lay down and just give myself some time to rest and then and then I was able to figure out okay, I'm gonna, you know, make this and move on with the rest of my day. But yeah, it's that mental fatigue is a real struggle, not helped by the fact that perimenopause also messes with your energy and so it's a whole jumble of interesting chemical reactions that are happening and just working our way through it.

Katy Weber 49:41
I think that's also work. Kids play a lot. You know, you're talking about your son leaving home like, for me, if I'm home alone, my dinner consists of a bag of popcorn. Yeah. Like I cannot cook for my just for myself. And so I always I'm always grateful for the fact that I have to if you Usually my husband cooks but like, if it's up to me, I'm like, I have to feed these people, these Cubans that I brought into the least I can do. But for myself never. Yeah,

Clara Harris 50:09
I spent, you know, 16 I guess 16 years being the I'm generally the primary cook, but then Yes, soon as Flynn left, that's like, Yeah, well, I don't know. We're just gonna pop some popcorn and make a smoothie, you know, I think that'd be fine.

Katy Weber 50:25
I don't have like cheese on hand sandwich. That's my favorite. What's interesting that you brought up the auto immune stuff too, because obviously, so much correlation and core vide with autoimmune disorders and neuro divergence. And I have I have manures disease too, which is not necessarily as much pain as it is just low level nausea, and vertigo. So super fun and tinnitus, too. That's the other thing. I know, I lost hearing in my left ear. So I have very loud tinnitus all the time. That's also exhausting. It's awful. It's terrible. It's and it also it's like, you know, trigger warning, but like there's a high association between tinnitus, tinnitus, tinnitus, whatever you want to call it, and suicide because and I was like, well, that's great. But when you were talking about restaurants, and I was thinking about, like, how frustrating it is to be in restaurants with a hearing aid, now that I have a hearing aid, because hearing aids like amplify really weird, random sounds. They're terrible for loud, ambient environments. And like, it's, I hate restaurants more now than I ever did before. Because it's like, you know, especially when you're in those like little urban restaurants, where it's like, all the tables are right next to each other. So you have no choice but to listen to the the couple next to you, you know, have a fight over their meals. And I'm like, Ooh, this is so interesting. But yeah, I was thinking about how like, I've had to relearn how to live with hearing aid. Because of this. I don't know, what was I talking about? Oh, we were talking about autoimmune and all of this stuff with stress and the nervous system and why all of us have immune autoimmune disorders. Like I'm like, I feel like that person with the with all the red string on the wall. Just be like, it's all

Clara Harris 52:07
got that dad? Yes. Yes, exactly. And actually, my son is really interested in going into psychology. And so it's fun to listen to him sort of connect some of the dots. And but yeah, I'm super interested in in how all of that is connected. And I feel like at some point in the future, there's probably going to be some sort of discovery that there is some overlap, because we are living with an overloaded brain can't help but impact the rest of the system that it's the brain has touched us. Yes. I feel like there's some discoveries to be made there. And whether it'll happen in my lifetime. Oh, not banking on it. But the I do think that sort of mind body connection stuff is really interesting.

Katy Weber 52:53
I know. Yeah, say but it's kind of like hormones and menopause. I'm like, I'm equally as fascinated as I am frustrated anytime I do any deep dives, because I'm like, there's too many question marks. I nobody has any idea what's happening. And

Clara Harris 53:08
you know, it's not like perimenopause, or menopause is a new thing to the human condition. It's just remarkable. The body that can reproduce has been so overlooked in the medical field.

Katy Weber 53:21
Well, all right, well, we just got our own checking accounts. What generation ago so take it down a notch lady, one thing at a time and your place

Clara Harris 53:32
does in the kitchen.

Katy Weber 53:36
So have you ever thought of a name that you might have for ADHD that is less complicated or horrible? If you ever heard of one or did you ever come up with one? No, it's

Clara Harris 53:44
funny, because last night, the thing that my brain was spiraling on and not allowing me to sleep about was thinking about different different words that it could be acronyms for. And so it was like, I should write these down. No, I'll remember them tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Katy Weber 54:03
That is so relatable. I'm sorry, I apologize. Sorry, not sorry. Yeah, exactly.

Clara Harris 54:08
I was trying to think of what some of them were in that I remember there was like, all details, hurry, do it. It's like, but you have to hyphenate do it. You know, it's like that's not really. And then and then I giggle at Nightline a bit I roll over pick up my phone and Google psychology terms that start with a because I was like, let's try and make this sound more official. Yeah, and come up with anything like activating activating is a good one, you know, came up with random with but what's so funny is have a game I play with myself on long car rides. If I get I just get to the point where I'm not really seeing anything anymore because I've been on the road for so long. Where I'll start coming up with acronyms, the license plates, I'll come up with funny sayings and I started doing that last night with ADHD. But now of course, I can't remember any of them. None of them were particularly See that good. They were entertaining me at two o'clock in the morning, but think it's really worth publishing.

Katy Weber 55:05
That's enough for me. I'm just glad to know. If anything pops up at an inopportune random time, let me know. And I'll I'll add it into the show notes. We'll do we'll do I haven't come up with anything. So I still I'm like, you know, because I'm always like, what would have put that light bulb on for me before my diagnosis, right? Because it's like, you know, we're always talking about executive dysfunction, and all these things where I'm like that none of that I would have never related to any of that. And like you said, like my therapist recommended, he suggested at issue to me gently over the years, and I always took it vaguely as an insult, which is like, what do you think of me that you think I have ADHD? And so you know, again, it's like, what would have made me say, Oh, that explains me. In a way, that is also a pathologized. Disorder.

Clara Harris 56:00
Yeah, but so much of it, I feel like, I am glad for it. Because it again, it has just helped me reframe so many things in my past, and in my present, the so that there isn't the shame spiral and some of these other things that I had to become very accustomed to, and very good at doing. So I don't, it's I'm not too bothered by it. Of course, I'm saying that now, two years later, when I got to Edinburgh, they have a big press event towards the beginning of the fringe. And there is a publication there that was doing interviews called the neurodivergent review, I think it was, and I was pretty freshly diagnosed. And I was like, Oh, do I really want to identify as a neurodivergent performer and opted not pitch to them at that particular event. Now, later in the month, it's really interesting to see the difference in in the cultural acceptance of neurodivergent. It's in the least in the British theatre community that I was part of, during the French anyway, just seemed to be more accepted, more embraced. And that was, that was really helpful for me also, being someone who was newly diagnosed, and seeing people really own that label of neurodivergent. And using that as sort of a, an advantage to them, or, you know, something that was your unique selling proposition, you might say, to their company, or their piece or what have you. And so that was that was really helpful at that particular time of my life. And in particular, and I think because of that, too, I came back to the states and ended up adding neurodivergent, to my website, and on one of my about me pages, one of my about sounds like why would you have more than one, because I have, like a general bio, you know, because you land on my website. And it's like, I'm an actor, and I'm a writer. And so, basically, there are different things like, here's some things I've done as a writer, and so there's a little bit of additional information, you know, sort of a slightly different bio on that page that talks about me more as a writer, it's it anyway. Yeah, but, but yeah, just learning to embrace that label. And and I guess I find myself using neurodivergent more than ADHD.

Katy Weber 58:08
I do too, simply because I'm like, do I have autism? I don't know. Maybe I do do it. Like I'm so I'm more confused than anyone after doing this, talking about it non stop for four years. So I'm, so I'm like, I think there's a lot more happening here. And then the other thing, I feel like I you know, a lot of the time I feel like the ADHD. For me, it's like, that's the part where you're struggling, right? You know, it that's the behaviors that exist as a result of your brain not being in a regulated state or being in an environment that is helpful to you. So I'm like, at the end of the day, I feel like we're talking about a neuro divergent brain. And when you're really in crisis mode, or you know, things that happen as a result of your brain or the ADHD, so there's times where I'm like, hella ADHD and other times where I'm like, Yeah, but you know, I'm doing well. Yeah, yeah. And so that's where I'm like, Yeah, I feel like neurodivergent feels like more of a constant state for me than then ADHD, but I don't know, what do I know.

Clara Harris 59:09
You know, your own experience? And I would I would affirm that experience that that I think that what you just explained sounds very similar to Yeah, I identify with that. I

Katy Weber 59:19
would say right, well, there we go. It's official. So since you aren't very good gullible Where Where would people be able to find you? I know that you have your the Swamp Witch studio, which we actually didn't get to talk about much. But where can people find you and find more about you?

Clara Harris 59:39
People are gonna be like, Wait, Swamp Witch studio. I know. Right. I like really just

Katy Weber 59:44
threw that out at the end there.

Clara Harris 59:45
That's the the name under which I do my audio production stuff. And so that's, I have done podcasts through swamp studio. Initially, that was the name of my first podcast. And so I I sort of just adjusted it over the years to sort of be the umbrella under which I do certain types of jobs. Whereas then I also have like, basic freelancing actor writer that's not under that umbrella. So it's because I am working on getting this swamp of studio work sort of peeled off and under its own LLC. And that's sort of the working in that direction of making it a more official business, as opposed to Yeah, I do this stuff. And, you know, you've got to have a podcast name. And so startup swamp which studio, which is a whole other story, but But yeah, so swamp, which studio.com, which is where you could find information about podcasts and other projects that are being done. They're primarily audio focused, and very excited, actually. So there's not been a lot of work going on under the swamp studio umbrella, since returning from Edinburgh because I came back with an injury that has taken quite a while to deal with. And so now that that is resolving and moving forward, working on getting that sort of more organized, I was really haphazard about it in the past. So swamp studio.com, you can find more details. But I'm excited because I'll be going back to the UK for graduate school next year. Found a master's in audio storytelling at University College London. So yeah, that's a very recent development, like, past couple of days, that got confirmed. So I'm very excited to get underway with that. And I could talk about that for much longer, because I'm very excited. Yeah, so swamp studio.com. And also, this moment in America is the name of the project that I took to Edinburgh. And the whole point of that is basically, after Trump was elected, we heard a lot in the media about people struggling to understand why people were voting for them. And living in the middle of the country being Native Appalachian native Southerner, the conversations that would have involved why someone might vote for Trump. We're not outside the realm of my experience. And so I was not as confused as it seemed like a lot of the talk we were hearing in national media was struggling to understand and so it all sort of started from there trying to look at, okay, how can I, as a theatre artist, provide a platform where we can talk to each other a little bit more understand this a little bit more. And it's manifested in this moment in America, which is basically a one person show, multimedia show. So it's live. It's also recorded, its video, audio, lots of different elements. And that's been also part of the hiatus has been sort of re conceiving taking the experiences. I learned from fringe, and re conceiving what needs to change to improve the show, and figuring out how that's going to work. And

Katy Weber 1:02:58
who knows, maybe there's a sequel? Yeah,

Clara Harris 1:03:03
yeah. So the whole idea, though, is that it's an ongoing, ever evolving thing that's responding almost like a conversation with news media, but not the media itself. But the but the news, and what's going on in sort of our national conversations. And then interspersing, basically, information about current events with average, American, not that there is such a thing, but sort of your different responses based on the lived experiences, because that's ultimately what we're all coming into the voting booth with or coming to our own opinions about his are based on our variety of lived experiences, which are going to be so different, based on where we are in the country based on all of these different factors that are going to be so different for a country as big as ours. So yeah, this moment in america.org, which I am actually needing to get updated to reflect that it's no longer playing at the Edinburgh Fringe two years later. But again, it's been on hiatus. So but this moment in america.org, where you can find out more information about what that's going to be as it's becoming. So yeah, it'd be live shows and opportunities also to do writing workshops and that sort of thing. That was really a lot of words to talk about where people can find me, but

Katy Weber 1:04:19
no, that's really fascinating. So so this moment in America is not it's not there's not a recorded version of the performance that we can watch online, right? Not

Clara Harris 1:04:30
right now. Yeah, I thought I was recording all of my performances at Edinburgh to then release on the podcast. I do have recordings, but they are not straight from the board. They're just basically the what was being heard in the house. They're not the quality to really so I learned the hard way that I spent 28 performances hooking up my system wrong. Oh, yeah. So currently there is nothing really. But I, my goal is that by next month, I'm doing sort of regular updates and releasing regular recording. So that part of the RE conceiving of it is an online engagement opportunity. Whereas before it was conceived very much as just like a live in person situation. So I learned a lot of things at the fringe. And it's taken a little while to collate all of that into usable information that my brain can then process into an actionable plan for moving forward.

Katy Weber 1:05:33
Wow. Well, congratulations on the Masters because I know the last, you know, last I heard from you you had been accepted, but we're sort of trying to figure out how to get there. So that's awesome. Well, congratulations, what an exciting new chapter. Thank you so much. It's been absolutely a joy chatting with people are getting to hear more about your story. And likewise,

Clara Harris 1:05:52
it's been lovely chatting with you. I love the podcast. Actually, I am a regular listener. So thank you for the work that you're doing. And it's been such an honor to be a part of it. Thank you.

Katy Weber 1:06:01
Oh, thanks.

There you have it. Thank you for listening. And I really hope you enjoyed this episode of the women in ADHD podcast. If you'd like to find out more about me and my coaching programs, head over to women and adhd.com. If you're a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you'd like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit women and adhd.com/podcast guest and you can find that link in the episode show notes. Also, you know, we ADHD ears crave feedback. And I would really appreciate hearing from you the listener, please take a moment to leave me a review on Apple podcasts or audible. And if that feels like too much, and I totally get it. Please just take a few seconds right now to give me a five star rating. Or share this episode on your own social media to help reach more women who maybe have yet to discover and lean into this gift of nerd of urgency, and they may be struggling and they don't even know why. I'll see you next week when I interview another amazing woman who discovered she's not lazy or crazy or broken. But she has ADHD and she's now on the path to understanding her neuro divergent mind and finally using this gift to her advantage. Take care till then

Transcribed by https://otter.ai