Alice Gendron: Finally understanding yourself with The Mini ADHD Coach

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 Episode 161 with Alice Gendron.

“There are so many doubts. I can wake up convinced I have ADHD. But by the time I go to bed, I’m like, No, I’m just lazy.”

Alice is an artist and freelance writer from Bordeaux, France. Her diagnosis of ADHD at the age of 29 changed her life, and inspired her to help others. If you don’t recognize the name, you will most definitely recognize the sweet little pink haired icon behind her popular social media account @the_mini_adhd_coach 

She started and runs The Mini ADHD Coach, an online and social platform and community, offering tips, advice, and a place to connect for over half a million followers, empowering those with ADHD (and those who love them) to thrive.

Alice and I talk about her diagnosis and what led her to create her lovely little ADHD character, and how that first little doodle has led to an immense platform, her workbook, planner, and now her book, “The Mini ADHD Coach: How to Finally Understand Yourself.”

We also talk about some of the stigma surrounding an ADHD diagnosis in France, and Alice shares how important it is for her to create content in other languages besides English as we all expand our understanding of what it’s like to live with ADHD in all countries and cultures around the world.

Website: www.theminiadhdcoach.com

Instagram: @the_mini_adhd_coach

Links:

The Mini ADHD Coach: How to Finally Understand Yourself by Alice Gendron

Enjoy!

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Katy Weber 0:01
Hi, Alice, thank you for joining me.

Unknown Speaker 0:03
Thank you so much for inviting me.

Katy Weber 0:06
So where where in the world are you right now? Because I assumed you lived in France. But then I read in one of your, at some point I read that you were in Melbourne. So where are you? Where are you?

Unknown Speaker 0:20
So yeah, I live in Bordeaux.

Katy Weber 0:22
Oh, okay. For summer I miss a thought that that was when you received your diagnosis. And I was like, but it was it was just one of the one of the things on your resume that one of the many jobs we tend to have, right, okay. Oh, awesome. All right. Well, this is exciting, because I feel like I have a lot of questions about the French attitude toward ADHD. And so let's hear about I would love to hear about how you were diagnosed because you were diagnosed in 2020. Correct? Yeah. Yeah. And so what was going on in your life that you started to put two and two together and think, okay, maybe what I'm experiencing is ADHD.

Speaker 2 1:05
Yeah. Well, you know, the thing is, I think I like to describe it as an added thing, burnouts. You know, I was just struggling so much. I would say from 22 to 29. difficulties in life, just keep getting stronger and harder, you know, and, and more and more responsibilities and then paying bills, and, you know, and everything. Yeah, everything just got a bit too much to handle at some points. And I am a pandemic diagnosis, like you, I assume. And, and, yeah, so, I think something really, it was just too much. I would say just yeah, it's just too many, too many too many struggles, and I just couldn't really cope, really, and I just, I needed an answer, you know, it was like, this needs is rice cereal needs of getting some, some answers about, you know, just just some insight on on the thing I was going through, and also I, I had a professional project that was kind of failing, and I was really struggling with self esteem because of that, and I just, yeah, I needed something to just to not completely lose my mind. So I after a long months of irritation and doubt and, and wondering if, if I were really legitimates to ask for an assessment. I finally Yeah. had the courage to, to make an appointment. And it was a bit a big thing. And then I waited for a moment. And, and yeah, but my diagnosis at 29

Katy Weber 3:13
Do you Did you see a psychiatrist?

Speaker 2 3:16
At this time I was seeing someone I was seeing a psychiatrist. Because, yeah, I went through difficult times in my life a few years before. A lot of grief. From Yeah, I lost important people in my life and but at the same time, yeah, I was describing to him my ADHD symptom quite clearly, when I think about it now, like listing everything was like, I don't know, I'm struggling so much with this thing. And this thing in this thing, I don't know why, what's wrong with me. And the thing is, in France, we we have a different approach on mental health and a lot of psychiatrist really like to, you know, analyze your life and your pasts and which is very important, but some of them and a lot of them and especially older psychiatrist are quite reluctant to, you know, make diagnosis, and they try to make you work through everything. But sometimes you really need to have a diagnosis. So this is not the person that diagnosed me. Because yeah, I should have seen that it was ADHD. I mean, I was describing it's four years with him, but so I asked for an assessment with another one, someone who was younger and a bit more in tune with modern psychiatry, and but I was diagnosed then a few few months later. So by specialists, so I had, actually I have to diagnosis. Just wanted to be sure, right?

Katy Weber 5:17
I know I always say I wish I had a card that I could keep in my wallet to remind me that I was actually diagnosed by a professional because there's so so much of that self doubt. And, you know, I think so many of us had that experience in the past where we were told that we were just depressed, right, or that we needed a good nap or like you said, like, let me start thinking about all the reasons why, you know, that it could be something else. And we don't think of ourselves as hyperactive. You know, I didn't think I had an attention issue. I don't even really know what that means. Right. And so oftentimes, we come with this long list of what is clearly like you said, clearly ADHD symptoms, but nobody in the room knows that that's what that is. And so luckily, it always feels like there's this one fatal, fatalistic moment where somebody recognizes it, or some article or something, like a light switch goes off, you're like, oh, that's what ADHD looks like. Yeah.

Speaker 2 6:22
Yeah. And especially in France, you know, we don't really have this. It's not really something we grew up with, especially for people my age, because ADHD wasn't really something when we knew about when we were kids. And so I didn't even know it existed before a few years, or months before my diagnosis, and it was only because I was super interesting in psychology in general, and I was consuming content in English. And yeah, I was able to, you know, cross paths with ADHD a few times, and the first times, I think I was really, really, you know, I was, yeah, I never imagined I could have that. And that, you know, with time and seeing more and more women are so speaking about their experience on YouTube, for example, I started to relate more and more and, and yeah, it started like that.

Katy Weber 7:33
Yeah, I mean, I, France certainly has a reputation of not diagnosing ADHD, right. Or at least being resistant, or like you said, just that there is a communication breakdown in some of the older practitioners versus this younger generation. But I often wonder if it was more of, it's just culturally more amenable to neuro divergence, right. So it wasn't like, there would have been a time in which it's just, you would struggle less, because it's a much more open environment, or a much more open, socially, just more accepting of neuro divergent personalities. And it's like, as we have kind of progressed into a more modern Western society, those of us who struggle in nine to five jobs or project independent projects are a lot of the things that we find are creating this implosion of, you know, like the we're have really struggling with a lot of those things are weren't necessarily, you know, those are products of modern capitalist society. Whereas I feel like France was always known as this wonderful laid back, you know, walk everywhere, kind of it just in terms of like, it's so different from the US in so many of the ways that felt like it would be more accommodating to a neurodivergent brain.

Speaker 2 8:56
Yeah, I don't know, really. I don't have the experience of living in, in the US, so I couldn't compare. But yeah, I don't know. I see. Because I also have an accounts and Instagram account in French. And so I have, you know, the feedback from my mostly us community and my mostly French community. And I see a lot of people and especially a lot of women are really struggling with late diagnosis journeys. And yeah, so I think it's different, but I think it's not really that much accommodating. And especially we, we also have here kind of really bad view on ADHD because for many people, especially maybe my parents generation, it's really this the American thing that's, you know, big American corporation wants to sell drugs to our kids. And so there is this. It's kind of difficult to go past that sometimes. So there is a big Yeah. Many French people are a bit reluctant to admit that ADHD could be something real and just not just linked to big pharmaceutical American corporation. And yeah, it's a bit weird. Yeah, well, weird country.

Katy Weber 10:34
I think here too, there is certainly a lot of people who feel like it's made up or that it's an excuse, right? Like that this is really just, you're just, you know, compensating for the fact that you're lazy or that you don't want to do it, all of those things. So it certainly exists here. But yeah, it's always I'm sorry, I'm, like still thinking about how fascinating it must be to be able to compare in two different languages, the struggles and how they're existing for, for the two different audiences. That's so cool.

Speaker 2 11:08
Yeah, it's really interesting, because I have the same post, for example, about the same, you know, issues. And, you know, the, the audience don't really respond on this in the same way. So it's, yeah, it's kind of really interesting. And my book is coming out in French. Next week. So it's very exciting to.

Katy Weber 11:31
Um, okay, so let's talk about the video ADHD coach, because obviously, I follow you and have for a while. So I'm like, did you have any kind of platform before you started that account? What it's like, talk me through the, the timeline of this account that has just blown up that you were just like, at home in 2020, like many of us, and

Speaker 2 11:54
actually, this is Instagram accounts. Yeah, I created it a few years before I created the mini ADHD coach, it was actually my account for everything a bit artsy, or the artistic project I had. And so it was an account I activated and, and and get back to like, every six months, you know, just cycling through my, yeah, artistic experiments. And so yeah, I think 1000 followers on this. And it was just basically, me, just crafting and sharing with, with crafty friends on Instagram. It was a great community, by the way, and, and so just right after my diagnosis, I felt super relieved, you know. But a few days later, I started to feel really down. And maybe it was because we were all at home also. And it was a pandemic and I was going out of this professional project that was completely failing. And it was yeah, a difficult moment. And I just needed to connect, felt so lonely. So I needed to connect, and I decided, okay, let's just do something. I'm always doodling anyways, so, and I just posted the first doodle saying, I have ADHD and it's okay, you know, with a little bevel and, and I was so not convinced of this at the moment I posted it. I think I was thinking just the opposite of that. I was not okay at all. But I just needed to start conversation. And actually, it worked. Because in my artistic community, a few person were actually just diagnosed or diagnosed earlier. And yeah, we started just exchanging about that. And people just started saying, Oh, you have ADHD. I have ADHD too. I was doing this two years ago. And then so yeah, just kept posting doodles, because I had nothing better to do at this moment. And yes, things blew up at this moment. And that was, it was, yeah, a wild ride. And it was three years ago now. And it's just amazing. The community that we have now and people are just so kind and so warm, and I don't know, it's just amazing.

Katy Weber 14:31
It is right. And I think also this idea that you you know what, there's that adage, like if you want to learn something, you should teach it right? Because that is like it's like your ADHD brain at work as you're learning all this stuff about ADHD and then turning it around into instruction, you know, making something out of it in terms of an instructional end. You know, I started this podcast too, because I was just had just I started the podcast before I was even officially diagnosed And I was very nervous that I was gonna find out that I didn't have ADHD. Yeah. Right. Right. That also being like, right, but I was like, oh, no, but the whole starting the podcast about ADHD part is pretty clearly you have it. Right. So you think about like the side projects that suddenly become in this enormous, like, all encompassing part of our lives. So it's like you're doing the video Like, it's, it's not just doodles anymore. This has been incredible what you've been working. Are you doing this on your own? At what did you bring in a team? I'm like, Dizzy getting to think about all.

Speaker 2 15:40
We have a team now. It's amazing that we were able to Yeah, bring more people in the team and just a lot of neurodivergent people. Just yeah, a lot of people with ADHD we have. We have a lot of a lot of people. Yeah, just participating. Animators and illustrators for the videos. Of course, I cannot do everything myself. And yeah, I just I tried. You know, just at first I tried, and I decided I will learn to animate stuff. And just yeah, it will be okay. And no, it's not, it's not possible anymore. And I also know myself better now. So I try to not jump into things so much. And then and try to Yeah, it's also really great to be able to work with talented people and just let them do the thing that you want to do sometimes. Because, yeah, you don't have to quit what you're starting few days later, when when you just don't stop. Yeah, it's nice. And yeah, it's just incredible. And what is really important for me is to make the content in different languages. And that's something I'm really invested in. And so we have the Instagram account in lots of languages, Spanish, Portuguese, French, and we are working on on the website and YouTube. So we just Yeah, so I hope that everybody can just know at least that ADHD is a bit different from what we think it is. And I think it's important to create content in other languages. So just because the English communities is already so rich, but in some countries, you know, it's it's, they're still few years behind on the awareness. And, and so yeah, I'm just thinking about all the people that are still at this points where I was a few years ago, and just want to help them understand that they're not alone.

Katy Weber 17:57
Right. And I think also being able to articulate what this looks like, in very small, like vignettes of our life, I think is what is so important and why I think like tick tock has been so instrumental to ADHD diagnosis is because it's one thing to just read a book or to see in the DSM. But it's another thing entirely to see, you know, just this one example of like, oh, this is what it looks like. And here, oh, I do that. Wait, everybody doesn't do that. Wait, this is part of ADHD, like going through all of that, like, oh, wow, okay. But I'm sure like, as an illustrator is that have you thought about what it is about? Illustration, or the medium that seems to really resonate with so many of us?

Speaker 2 18:50
I don't know. I think that's, in a way. You know, having these doodles can make the experience I try to explain and shows a bit universal and I think it's easier for people to relate to doodles that is just funny. And the really, you know, minimalistic in a way than to someone because yeah, it's it's everybody can see themselves in in the drawings and I was quite surprised how many men's were actually sending me messages on Instagram and saying, Oh, I just I relate so much with what you're doing and they are often already diagnosed but oftentimes, they just really don't know what is ADHD is so they are still super happy to find content about it. But yeah, so I was super surprised because I'm drawing like a girl with pink hair. And, and like, like 50 something or 40 something. Adults man WizKids and all are coming in my DMs saying, you know, thank you so much for what you're doing. It's just I just relate so much to content to them like, okay, so I think yeah, as the drawings just give me Yeah, and really universal sense. That's, yeah, people can relate to and I guess I don't really know. But

Katy Weber 20:24
well, I think the character to like you said, like, there was just, there's just a sense of like, it's gonna be okay. Like, she's very assured, reassuring. And I think just like one of the things I have realized, with ADHD, especially when it comes to a lot of the things we struggle with, in terms of executive functioning is like, really, a lot of the time, all we need is the acknowledgement and the validation that this is not a character flaw, that if this is not something reason that you're terrible, like, sometimes all we need is just a sweet little pink haired girl, just to say, it's fine. It's totally fine. This happens to everybody. And we're gonna get through this. And I think that character is, you know, I think why that character is so appealing, because she really encompasses that, like, you know.

Speaker 2 21:19
Yeah, I think positive regard. Exactly. She's really a shame fighter, I think. And, really, I think shame is a big, you know, it's an ADHD killer in a way in ADHD are killer, because it's really the thing that we all struggle with. And, and it's so deeply in, in us, you know, it's so yeah, there's a lot of suffering. I, when I see the messages and the comments on my contents, I mean, I tried to make things a bit light, but at the same time, Indians, yeah, we need to address the suffering that people with ADHD are experiencing? Because it's not. Yeah, it's really something extremely important. And, and there is this shame, that's almost all of us living with. And in the end, I think I really like to, I really want to just ease people's pain with my drawings. And that's why I try to make them so. Yeah. lighthearted and warm, I guess. Because I know, I know, the shame. I notices the pain. I know everything that is behind or quirky attitudes. But yeah, it's deep.

Katy Weber 22:51
I know. Yeah, exactly. Right. And it also it's not anything that's in the diagnostic criteria. Right. I feel like I talked about that on the podcast, too. Like, so many of us relate to the emotional elements of ADHD, when we're getting our diagnosis in adulthood, right? It is all of the deeply held shame around some of these things that struggles that we believe are in character flaws, and it's unpacking all of that, and it's not, you know, that's, that's not how it's presented is like, not often those aren't the questions that are asked of us in clinicians offices, and it's sort of like, so much of the treatment plan with ADHD is, is, you know, working on dismantling that shame. And how do we do that? It's not just like, here's your pill. See, you later go, you know, pills help pills help a lot. But I think there's just so much more there in terms of our mindset and our self concept and how we regard our who we are in these in the world to its deep, right. And I think it also like you were saying, like when you are diagnosed, there's that moment of like, Oh, my goodness, this explains everything but then it's followed by that grief, right of that weight of looking back over the course of your whole life and thinking like, Oh, I really struggled. Yeah, like I really struggled. The signs were there all along. What is the life I could have lived like all of those questions that come with an adult diagnosis. Now, so you have so first before you created the mini ADHD coach book that is coming out in the US already. Okay, exciting. The congratulations is originally there was a workbook right.

Speaker 2 24:43
Yeah. So it's different. It's completely different tools. The workbook I really created it, because this moment right before my diagnosis. I don't even like to think about Do it again. It's just the doubts. You know, I often say that I was waking up, convinced I had ADHD. I was like, of course, I have ADHD, you know, it's just, it's, it's so obvious. And by the time I was getting to bed at night, I was just, I was, no, of course, I don't have ADHD, I'm just, I'm just lazy, I just need to, you know, it's abuse that I don't have it, you know, I had good grades in school, I just know, I'm, it's not me, and just experiencing this cycle every day. For a few months before I had my assessment, and then the result of the assessment with my diagnosis. It was it was so painful, it was really difficult. And I felt so lonely. And I consume so much content, and sometimes something I read, I watch on YouTube was really validating. And I felt really, because I felt like I related and I felt I was legitimate to ask for an assessment. And sometime, you know, you you come across an article and it just, it doesn't fit your experience. And you're who am I kidding? Why do why do I want to waste time for a psychiatrist, just because I think I may have ADHD, because I cannot pay my bills on time, like a proper adult. And, you know, it's just, in this experience, it was so, so frustrating and so painful that I really wanted to create something that people could use during this time, just so they don't feel alone. And also because, you know, I read many, many times. It's like diagnosis criteria and the description of the different symptoms, and, you know, the materials they gave you, when when you do the assessment, and it's, you know, the description of the symptoms are just weird. So just really weird. And they're just not logical. And, you know, I just wanted to create something that's people could use this specific time with, they are waiting for the assessment, and they are wondering if it could have ADHD and just feeling less lonely feeling, you know, as again, evaluates as a symptom can affect their life and, and write down, you know, different memories and everything, you know, the thing that most of us do in Notepad and then on our phones, and it's all just super messy, and then, you know, the day before your assessment, you're panicking and you're thinking, Oh, maybe I will just forget everything, and I won't be able to answer the question. And so I won't be diagnosed. And you know, it's just so stressful this moment. So I just wanted to create this workbook to help people Yeah, during specific moments, pre diagnosis, so the workbook is really about that. And it seems that yeah, it's it's working well, because it's actually even recommended by some psychiatrist who are really happy to see the patient coming in with this tool. Because they see that, you know, they are organized a bit at least at least and, and more confidence just a bit more beef peaceful. And, and yeah, so there is this. I made this like, two years ago, and now there is a book, which is completely different, just made for every everybody really, because I think people who are diagnosed were not diagnosed when he told them what ADHD is, and oh, it impacts our life and also for people who are living with people with ADHD for teachers who have kids with ADHD, you know, so I think this is really a book for everyone.

Katy Weber 28:57
That's right. I think that's fantastic. It reminds me of how important it feels to us to have like that, at our fingertips, those reminders, because one of that labor reminds me of when I think I got my bartending license when I was in my early 20s. And I was always really frustrated about the fact that I couldn't remember the ingredients to bartending drinks, like there was like four or five I could remember that I did a lot but I could not for the life of me remember, because I didn't, I just couldn't. And so I always had to keep the bartender's Bible with me and like i Oh, and I was always felt like I was a terrible you know that there was something I was doing wrong because I couldn't hold all of this information in my head, but I feel like that with a lot of the stuff when it comes to just these little tips and tricks that work right like we always are feeling like they're, it's out there somewhere. I just don't remember like, there's like there's some papers everywhere disorganized. There's like I just want things to feel organized and I just want that feeling of having everything All together, that I can reference at all times. I feel like it speaks to that. But so how were you able to write a book with ADHD? I think is the big question.

Speaker 2 30:13
Yeah. It's a question I asked myself. Oh, so, you know, the thing that most people don't know is actually I, I gave birth, like, two months before the dates, I had to give my, my manuscript to my publisher. So it was intense. It was really intense. And I actually don't know, I think I just the thing is, I think I, I learned so much about ADHD while I was, you know, creating post, and I was, so in merging everything, and I binge consume all the content, you know, I could form so many months, before starting to write the book that once I decided what the loop is, what the book would look like, you know, how it would be structured, I think, yeah, everything kind of really fell in place, because I knew everything I had to say, you know, in the book, so I think this is, yeah, it's, I really wrote it as someone with ADHD. And I think it is that, you know, you have to be confident on the fact that you, you have more knowledge that you think you have some time on things, because you just casually consumed so many contents and so much content and said, so we really sometimes really do have a lot of knowledge in some stuff. And so when you have to make something out of it, I think if you have the good, you know, the right approach, it can be less odds, and you think it's still out, but you know, it's really intimidating, but at the same time, you know, if you manage to do it the right way, it's doable. And I think also because I'm really it's was super important for me, like to have super short paragraphs, you know, read things like that, that were really easy to read for the readers. But at the same time, I think it was also for me, because, you know, it's easier to write a very short paragraph about something and then jumping to another thing. So really, I really just needed to go through every single item I had to write. But yeah, I think I managed to do it in really ADHD way. And yeah, it worked. I don't know if I could do it again. Yeah. All right. So

Katy Weber 33:05
so first, get pregnant. That's the first thing we do. Do you think your pregnancy helped as baby some at least having the deadline or knowing that you wanted to get it done or you know, I've just even like hormonally, sometimes we talk about like, when you're when we're pregnant with ADHD, there's that feeling of like, everything feels like, so clear, right? Because we have so much estrogen in our bodies.

Speaker 2 33:30
I feel I felt really good during my pregnancy. And I think it out maybe, and, yeah, but yeah, you know, it was kind of difficult. Yeah, it was. The thing is, I really wrote the book, right before and right after. Yeah, it was an experiment. But yeah, it was really, those memories I will never forget. And for my daughter, it's critical that I will be able to tell her that she was still in me while I was preparing the book. And, you know, no, she's one. And yeah, it's just, it's a nice story. But yeah, I cried a few times. It was really stressful. Yeah, but

Katy Weber 34:22
congratulations on both of both of your births.

Unknown Speaker 34:25
Yeah.

Katy Weber 34:29
Oh, that's amazing. So in terms of like, the website and the resource and everything, I guess I'm like, how do you keep it interesting for yourself?

Speaker 2 34:42
It's, it's not it's not easy to Yeah, it's not easy, but I've worked with no, it's definitely not easy, but because I have so many ideas of things I want to create and I want to make so many new things and you know, I just I can I have to stay calm and just try to Yeah. Just tame my enthusiasm a bit and see things a bit long term. And yeah, but I work with other people. And I think you need to find people that are not like you, you know, and that are able to, yeah, do things that are difficult for you. But for example, for the website, I work with a writer she is also she also has ADHD, but she likes to write and, and show so she's writing a letter for articles, and she's really, really good at it. But yeah, I couldn't do it all by myself. It's just just too much work. But at the same time, it's just great to be able to, yeah, to meet people who have other talents, and, you know, make a nice team with them. And we'll see where it takes us. But

Katy Weber 36:10
yeah, I know, I'd like to think about how you've created this, like little Empire out of your ADHD diagnosis does do you ever, like sit back and reflect on how that diagnosis has has led to this? Well, I you don't have time for it. Kid, right, you're like, I don't have time for reflection.

Speaker 2 36:36
I barely sleep, you know, reflection. No, but yes, sometimes I do. But I don't know, that's not the most interesting part. I think I What's really interesting for me, it's really to see like yesterday, I announced on Instagram, my book launch. And I made you know, a post about it reflecting a bit on the, you know, my story. And what was very interesting to me was to read the comments of people telling me, you know, what's my drawings? And everything adds? Yeah, what impact it had on them, and you know, how they were able to get diagnosed after that, and, you know, just seeing so many lives impacted. That's really what's important to me to see, yeah, I just, I just wish I could have, you know, good my diagnosis earlier sometimes. And so sometimes I just think maybe I help someone, say, the few years, you know, and, and have their own diagnosis a bit earlier than if they didn't cross paths with my content. And just, it's, it's quite, it's quite a nice feeling. To feel useful, I think, sometimes with ADHD, as we struggled so much, you know, to bring project to life and keep them living. And, you know, I tried to do so many things in my life, I felt so useless so many times, because I felt like I couldn't really bring myself to stay consistent enough to bring value to the world and to other people. And, and I felt useless for a big part of my life. And no, I finally feel useful. And it's just, yeah, it's the best feeling, really.

Katy Weber 38:46
I'd love that. And I, you know, sometimes I feel like there is that sense of like, well, you can't, or I guess maybe it's like, it's easy for you to say, because you've got it all together, and you've got this website and everything. And people don't really think about the trajectory of starting out with this one simple post, you know, three years ago, just being like, Oh, I don't know, I'm just gonna put this out there. It makes me feel better. And the CEA kind of explode into this, what kind of what, I guess what advice would you give somebody who feels like they are so far from feeling useful?

Unknown Speaker 39:26
Right. Because

Katy Weber 39:29
you're, like, just read my book.

Speaker 2 39:31
No, not really, because I feel I feel like I am so lucky. You know, a lot of it just comes down to luck, I think and I just posted the right post at the right time. And, you know, the Instagram algorithm was really kind to me for a few years and I feel really lucky and I don't think I'm just doing something extra that people Who are still feeling useless? Don't do. And I, I just I just feel their pain because I know what it is. And I'm sorry that I cannot, you know, solve this issue for them. I haven't really figured out the way. I don't think there is one way I think you need first to make peace with yourself to try to fight the shame that you, you know, that you experience and yeah, just try to be kind to yourself and yeah, work smarter not harder, you know, it's really simple thing that I tried to teach in my book to literally teach but just share. And because I don't feel like I'm really at the point of teaching, I'm still struggling with most of these things. And so yeah, I just maybe just come, you know, join us and just don't be alone. That's maybe the only things you know, maybe if you just are able to share your difficulties and your struggles. Just yeah, don't stay alone in, you know, in in your difficulties. And just Yeah, but it's, it's easier to say than to do I think, especially when you are really struggling and you're feeling really bad. So, but you're not alone. So that Yeah,

Katy Weber 41:30
yeah. And I try to I try to like i What really bothers me is this is whenever ADHD influencers and there's there are they are out there, but when they kind of perpetuate this idea that there is some secret way of that we've all discovered that is making us successful or something, right? Like, there's this secret out there that is going to make you the superpower and have the superpower. And it bothers me to no end, that that sort of feels like oh, by this and at the end you'll you'll find the secret that the rest of us have it it feeds into this idea that they are somehow that there's something that they're missing out on, right. And I feel like it's so exploitative. And it really bothers me because I I wish I was being more articulate right now. But I'm like, I just you know what I mean? Like, I just feel like it's not there is no answer. Really, like you said it comes down to how do I find my people? How do I find the people who are going to validate me and acknowledge what I'm, you know that I am a worthwhile human? And how do I start to question the people who are telling me the opposite, right? Who are who are telling me that I'm not or you know, who are leading me to believe that I am somehow a failure. But again, you're like, well, that's easier said than done. But even still, yeah, right. But I think at the same time, like I think authenticity around the struggle, and the fact that like, behind every successful Instagram account is a human being who isn't sleeping or, you know, is still struggling with a lot of this stuff. And how can we be both of those things? How can we hold on to both of those things? As as the reality of life?

Speaker 2 43:19
Yeah, yeah, I've, I completely agree with you. And you know, even diagnosis is not this magic moment, this magic thing that, I mean, it's really important, but at the same time, and I really, really, yeah, I say that in my book, too, is, you know, it's such a big wave of different emotion and a lot of them are really negative. I mean, you will feel probably super angry and just resentful to people who, you know, didn't so is a sign to your parents, your teachers, you know, when you look back to your two school reports, and you see like, clearly they're describing an ADHD kids, and you're like, Okay, so this was 25 years ago. Thank you. Thank you for that and yeah, it's just so annoying so yeah, and so even the diagnosis is not this magical thing. You will need to go through it to giant digested they just this huge information you get about yourself and yeah, it's not it's not easy. And I think nothing is really easy when you have ADHD is easy way to do things, you know, especially because, yeah, we are facing so much struggles. I think the main things that I like to share is Yeah, try to find the easy way and try to avoid just working against yourself and just find your your easy way to do things in And yeah, choose the smartbus not the app as it's okay. You're already doing so much. So yeah. So I think, yeah, but the thing is nuance and complexity is not the biggest selling points. So yeah. But in the end, I think I give tips in the book, but I think they're not the main thing of the book. Really, the main thing is just to learn to understand just how you work and how you behave. And that's your, what you think your weird behavior. I just, you know, normal behavior for people with ADHD, it's okay. It's just you have different reference it, you know, it will be okay.

Katy Weber 45:52
Yeah, everything you said I agree completely. Yeah, it is. It is. Well, that's wonderful now at least. So one of the things I love about the website too, is how it does feel like this one stop shop for somebody, right? And I love there's the self test. There's so much free information on that website. It's amazing. It's an amazing resource. And so then you have the workbook, you have the book, you have the YouTube, like, I feel like there's every way in which somebody might come to information. It's like, you've got it covered. It's incredible. So, yeah, I mean, obviously, it's like, you know, your ADHD, you couldn't have done this without ADHD, right. And I think that's what is always amazing when I see how this happened, right? Where it's like, you're, how, like, when you see all of the work that's put into a website like this, like it's got ADHD written all over it. In terms of how that influences, I don't remember what I'm talking about. Now. I'm just rambling. Anyway, it's an amazing website. It's an amazing resource. So thank you, for you and everybody who might be on your team. But then sometimes I always kind of find it funny when people talk about my team. And I'm like, There's not really a team. It's just me. So do

Speaker 2 47:18
have a team. Do it. No, no, really, and amazing. And thank you. Thank you meeting.

Katy Weber 47:27
Do you have? Do you know what you are going to be working on next? Do you have any plans

Speaker 2 47:32
for? Yeah, I have a project that one thing that I cannot talk about it? Yes. That's it's a collaboration with another ADHD influencer? If we, if we have to call us like that. Creator anyway. So yeah, it's really exciting. And we'll talk about that later,

Katy Weber 47:56
when you're allowed. Oh, that's very exciting. Well, fantastic. Okay. So but other than that, I think, you know, I'll make sure that everybody if they don't, I'm pretty sure everybody listens to this podcast probably already follows the Instagram account, but I'll put it there in the show notes. And the website, congratulations on the book and everything and and the baby. Thank you. That's so wonderful. And so it's also going to be released in other languages to write the book.

Speaker 2 48:28
Yeah, yeah. We have already almost 10 languages. Yeah, confirmed. So yeah, I'm not able to really talk about it. Because, you know, it's the publishing world is really a letter, shush thing. And also, it will take ages to be published in other languages, so, so I'm not really allowed to talk about it yet. But it's super exciting. We will have things let's say in, in big languages for the American continents, and also in Asia. So yeah, it's, it's incredible. It's, you know, it's a dream to see your book translated to so many languages, and I really hope it will bring awareness to some, you know, in some countries, it's still completely unknown. So it just it just great. I'm just really happy.

Katy Weber 49:27
Right and to put a name and a language to some of these behaviors, I think is why Yeah, it's so amazing for people who might be struggling alone. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for for being with me and chatting with me and telling me a little bit more about your story. I'm so excited to see the person behind this. The picket my pink haired coach

Unknown Speaker 49:56
Yeah, he's so much it was so nice chatting with you.